The first fish
I ever caught
would not lie down
quiet in the pail
but flailed and sucked
at the burning
amazement of the air
and died
in the slow pouring off
of rainbows...
...and ate him. Now the sea
is in me: I am the fish, the fish
glitters in me..certain to fall
back to the sea. Out of pain,
and pain, and more pain
we feed this feverish plot, we are nourished
by the mystery.
In wonder this morning I marvel how Mary catches my heart when it comes to fish. These days I prefer to snorkel to gaze at a fish's rainbow. This image captures Mary's poem yesterday, "White Night" where she merges with life through floating in water, not hunting in water. In the past, the way I knew to see the rainbow covenant born in fish flesh, was to hunt them with pole and line. And to eat them. The desire to have the sea flow in me in form that my brain gets, that is to eat fish, has not lessened over the years of my vegetarian path. By opting to not eat fish, I have not achieved the lessening of pain, for the mystery and pain of the cycle of life still pries open my heart whether I partake or not. The mystery fills my heart with awe, anew, in reading this poem and images of fish glitter in my mind.
What comes to your mind and heart when you consider that you live through harm to other beings?
T says:
ReplyDeleteWhile I can't comment on this poem at the moment, for some reason, probably unrelated, I am moved to share a poem that has been working in me lately...hope this is OK, if not, just ignore it...
Here goes:
Wenn etwas mir vom Fenster fallt
How surely gravity's law,
strong as an ocean current,
takes hold of even the smallest thing
and pulls it toward the heart of the world.
Each thing -
each stone, blossom, child -
is held in place.
Only we, in our arrogance,
push out beyond what we each belong to
for some empty freedom.
If we surrendered
to earth's intelligence
we could rise up rooted, like trees.
Instead we entangle ourselves
in knots of our own making
and struggle, lonely and confused.
So, like children, we begin again
to learn from the things,
because they are in God's heart;
they have never left him.
This is what the things can teach us:
to fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.
I, too, enjoy snorkling much better than fishing. Thank goodness many of the most beautiful fish on the reef are not considered food for man. It does worry me as to how much waste there is when getting fish and meat to the consumer. I have thought about the fact that my diet involves harm for some living things. This is not counter to the food chains present in all of nature. However, we attempt to take ourselves out of the chain and end it with us avoiding animals that would prey on us. On the other hand, perhaps our 'dust' provides the beginning of a new chain.
ReplyDeleteT - I like your poem.